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you don’t need therapy because you had an unhappy childhood – you need therapy because you had a childhood

On March 17th covering , ,

People are always being apologetic about this. They don’t feel it’s right for them to be in my office unless they are prepared to condemn their parents or make accusations of abuse or neglect.

The longer I do this, the more I’m impressed by how complex the task of being a human being is. We all have to live with ourselves somehow. Yes, we’re interested in your childhood because that’s when you first developed your basic approach to inner and outer reality. And there’s a lot to deal with in childhood. I don’t think he put it this way exactly, but Freud realized that childhood is inherently traumatic.

Think of it. you’re three feet tall and don’t have any of your own money. People talk to you like you’re an idiot. You can barely control your own sphincters, let alone your environment.. You have inchoate yearnings and feelings that you have to contend with, which go way beyond your capacity to express. There’s the difference between the sexes to figure out, which is an eternal wellspring of discomfort and mystery. You have dreams.

And then there are the grownups, who are either comforting and reliable, which poses the problem of leaving the safety they provide you and becoming your own person, or they’re not, which gives you the problem of finding a way to feel safe somewhere in the world, ever. It’s a big job.

I think you need to come in twice a week.

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